Crying

Crying… Crying is a behavior that often gets desired results…when a child cries he gets the toy he wants…he gets to stay with mom rather than being left at class…he doesn’t have to do the non-preferred task…he gets to leave early… But by catering to the crying we teach him that it works – cry and you will get what you want. Crying is one behavior that we cannot control (legally at least). We cannot stop a child from crying if he doesn’t want to stop. We can stop a child from throwing toys, stop them from head banging, make them perform a desired task (hand-over-hand), etc. But if a child is crying, there is no way to stop it. But there is not necessarily anything wrong with crying – while it can be quite wearing on those listening to it, it isn’t actually hurting the child. He’s exercising his lungs, he’s learning to use his voice… So as long as the child can stay somewhat on task while crying, and accomplish his goals, the crying can be ignored. If the crying is catered to, it simply encourages it. And in the case of Luke (see below), the crying is actually lessening some now that it is not being rewarded.